Week 4 Observations
I could sit here like every other Football or Fantasy columnist and point out how Derrick Ward has more rushing yards than LT or how the Browns, Lions, and Packers, have more combined wins than the Eagles, Bears, and Chragers, or make the lame Joke that McNabb is getting sacked right now in the Grocery store by the Giants, or how this is the longest run-on sentence ever. Instead here are some ORIGINAL observations I had while watching football this weekend.
Man the Eagles Suck.
It is not just the sacks, but their WRs cannot get open. Freddie Mitchell was more productive than these guys. I remember when he thanked his hands in a press conference. That was hilarious, I here he is still available too. He is currently using those great hands as a Fluffer out in California. If you don't know what a Fluffer is either A) wait until you hit puberty or B) ask Blyons about his day job. I hear he is great at career day for your middle school.
Everyone in Pittsburgh is gay, it means happy, for Ken Whisenhut except for Ben Roethlisberger. Every last person in the Steeler organization gave Ken a hug either before or after the game on Sunday. Too much man love for me.
Brian Griese did not blow the Bears game. The Bears' Defense did. They gave up 34 points in the fourth quarter. Granted 7 of those points were from a Griese INT, but he did lead them in for a TD right after that.
I wonder if anyone would notice if Frank Caliendo replaced John Madden on Sunday Night Football.
While Watching MNF I wondered who was more manly Suzy Kolber, Michelle Tafoya, or Tony Kornheiser. My money is on Suzy.
For the 3 guys in my league who will surely fight over picking up Daunte Culpepper, he had 5 TDs which is great, but only 5 completions which is not so great.
The Saints finally did not lose this past weekend.
Anyone else hear that Tony Romo is asking for more money than Manning? I guess there is still a drug problem in big D.
Is the best college football team in Florida really USF?
Dane Cook is a tool. I don't care if he is watching the baseball playoffs, I am not going to watch baseball. I hate that tool
New Column feature: Weekly Drinking game (if you are under the age of 21, people who have a Dave Chappelle avatar, please substitute Yoo-Hoo for beer or liquor)
Anytime during the Patriots game this Sunday that they mention Tom Brady and a magazine, tabloid, or him having a baby take a drink. I promise you will be drunk enough to hit on Suzy Kolber just like Joe Namath. |
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